i was in pleasanton
california
and I was asleep late
i'd been working
fifty hours a week
riding the tale end
of the dot com craze
and my arms
were killing me
twitching and burning
in a nervous rage
and I was half asleep
in a rented house
in suburban nowhere
and as I awoke
I knew something
wasn't right
the tv was on
but it was too quiet
and I could hear
my sister crying
downstairs
and somber tones
on the television
air
and my heart
started beating
as I sleepwalked
down those stairs

and what to say
really
it's beyond compare
like the rarified
hurtling through
the sky
i sat on the couch with
my sister
and we didn't really speak
we just stared

automatons
what to do
what to care
we went to work
a sense of normalcy
over despair
but I didn't stay long
I just wanted to check in
I walked past a closed office
with glass windows
and Press was weeping
he was in his 60's
jowlish and large
and his hand
covered his face
he sat beside Giri
a young man in glasses
they had worked there
the year before
they had friends
i never knew

i left and went back
to the house I lived in
but it wasn't home
and I realized I wanted
to go home
and it wasn't here
in a silicon wasteland
sheltered and drear
i went to the back yard
and I started to cry
I think I cried
for about a year
and I wept for the terror
desperation and fear
that wasn't even mine
but I had to bear witness
it was only fair