independence day - 7/4/2006
Listen
independence day
and I all
I can remember
are the lies
I remember driving down
the interstate five
on a surprisingly serene
spring morning
listening to the national
public radio
broadcasting live
but broadcasting still
i could hear
the call to prayer
distant and shrill
and the correspondent's
voice
like stone
like a knife
on a bone
and we were waiting
I was driving along
and their night
was so long
waiting for the boot
on the door
for the hammer
on the gong
waiting
until the sky fell
in shock and awe
and suddenly my tears
fell
as I drove through
the dawn
and the broadcast
was silent
all I could hear
were the bombs
falling on baghdad
and ululating
song
independence day
and I all
I can remember
are the lies
I remember driving down
the interstate five
on a surprisingly serene
spring morning
listening to the national
public radio
broadcasting live
but broadcasting still
i could hear
the call to prayer
distant and shrill
and the correspondent's
voice
like stone
like a knife
on a bone
and we were waiting
I was driving along
and their night
was so long
waiting for the boot
on the door
for the hammer
on the gong
waiting
until the sky fell
in shock and awe
and suddenly my tears
fell
as I drove through
the dawn
and the broadcast
was silent
all I could hear
were the bombs
falling on baghdad
and ululating
song
posted by grog at 10:38 AM
2 Comments:
Political and lyrical. Good going!
I especially like this turn of phrase:
the correspondent's
voice
like stone
like a knife
on a bone
This is sharp, clean and visceral. Try it without the "a" on the second part and see if it reads tighter. Or not.
Well done.
I take back what I said about the "a" -- listening to your performance convinced me that it was PERFECT. Don't change a thing. My comment was DUMB!
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